Hello Everyone!
Praise the LORD for he heard my cry and answered!
I am so grateful for all of your prayers over the last week. As most of you know from Facebook we got news on Wednesday that my estrogen was high and that I have a cyst on my right ovary that was producing extra estrogen. We were delayed from our start date and sent out a call for prayer. After continuing the birth control for 2 more days my numbers today came back TWO WHOLE POINTS lower!!! We got the all clear to start this month!!!
In other miraculous news Dr. Khan located my left ovary! Although it has been determined difficult to locate and genetically small it is still producing follicles!!! Praise the Lord for giving Dr, Khan the patience to locate it. I am so amazed that I can go from not having one to locating it and seeing that it is small but healthy.
In the last few days I have had many many hours of prayer and reflection. During this time I have been blessed with tremendous peace. Words spoken to me and revelations made include the following:
1. That this baby must be something pretty special to have the enemy so worried. News Flash: The devil doesn't win!
2. Although the oars of a boat go in the water and take from the water the boat it still propelled forward. God will give and God will take away and to His own purpose and design. I may not always understand or like the outcome but I am still propelled forward.
Eric and I are beside ourselves with excitement and can not wait to start the medications. Our official start date for medications is May 3rd. I will go for a few days (5/3,5/4,5/5) and on 5/6 I will have an evaluation to gauge how the medications are working.
Please keep praying for the doctors and for our emotional state. I have a hard time focusing these days. I feel as though I have neglected a few duties around my house (cleaning, cooking, shopping for groceries) I need to get a handle on balancing doctor visits, Home responsibilities and Work. There is also a great deal of "what is next?", "what if this actually works?" and "Can I have a moment to think?" going on in my mind. I don't have a complete thought ...ever. I hope that this can change soon.
Thank you all for your encouragement, support and prayers. Miracles do happen and I am believing that this is ours.
In HIS grip,
Nichole and Eric
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Follow-up, Results and a Calendar?... What a Week!
Hello Everyone,
What a week! After our delightful weekend together relaxing and enjoying each others company the information we received in our follow-up appointment began to sink in and actions were formulated. New discoveries have been made as a result of recent testing we both had done. Eric's results were MUCH BETTER than the last testing. Praise the Lord!
My Ovarian Assessment Report showed that my hormones are causing some issues. Specifically, my anti-mullerian hormone (AMH) is low. What this means is that what they use to judge my ovarian reserve is reduced. This indicates that my Egg Retrieval Score is reduced and that compared to other women 31-35 years old I am below average. UGH! definitely not what I wanted to hear. The good news is that my actual age (32) is a BIG bonus. Because of my actual age my chance of good egg quality is... Good. My feelings specifically about this... crummy. Please pray that my outlook and my guilt surrounding something that I can not change or affect in any way diminishes with reflection and prayer.
During our follow-up appointment Dr. Khan advised us that my hormones indicate that the outer shell of my eggs may be hard which could be preventing pregnancy. Due to these results Eric and I have chosen to have the doctors perform intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI, (pronounced ick-see)).
To help you understand this procedure I got the following information off of about.com :
In normal IVF, many sperm are placed together with an egg, in hopes that one of the sperm will enter and fertilize the egg. With ICSI, once the eggs are retrieved, an embryologist will place the eggs in a special culture, and using a microscope and tiny needle, a single sperm will be injected into an egg. This will be done for each egg retrieved. If fertilization takes place, and the embryos are healthy, an embryo or two will be transferred to your uterus, via a catheter placed through the cervix, two to five days after the retrieval.
This procedure makes it more expensive for us to have our IVF done. Praise to our Great Provider in Heaven! Our insurance covers most of this cost! Eric and I are paying out of pocket about 20% of the total cost! There is a financial strain, but we felt like the Lord was leading us to save money aside for about 2 months. Because of these savings we are able to pay these added expenses without concern!
Some dear friends and family that have gone through IVF gave me some wonderful advice. They told me to take this step by step and not focus on what was next. Their advice has been remarkably helpful. So, I am focusing on the current step. Payment and Medications. I should here from the pharmacy today about the cost and delivery of upcoming medications. Eric and I have also sorted out payment of IVF as discussed above.
A momentous occasion also happened at the appointment on April 15th; I got my IVF Calendar! This is the calendar of events that helps us follow what we will be doing. Here is an outline of dates:
April 11-April 26th: Birth Control
April 27th: Pre-IVF Evaluation Appointment 8:00AM EST (bloodwork, and ultrasound. will get results in the afternoon of the same day)
April 28th: Injection Class- 10:00 AM EST (eek! They are going to teach my how to inject myself without fainting.)
April 30- May 2nd: First doses of the medication
May 3rd: Follow-up Appointment and monitoring of fertility medication results 8:00AM EST (they will review medications and the results. At this appointment they will determine whether or not the drugs need to be reduced, lowered or are working as intended).
I will have more appointments in the next e-mail and as things progress. These are the dates and appointments that I am focusing on at this time. Please pray that my nerves are steady through the first injections and that the anticipation of these appointments does not make me an unbearable person to be around. :D
Thank you all for your prayers and support!
Eric and Nikki
What a week! After our delightful weekend together relaxing and enjoying each others company the information we received in our follow-up appointment began to sink in and actions were formulated. New discoveries have been made as a result of recent testing we both had done. Eric's results were MUCH BETTER than the last testing. Praise the Lord!
My Ovarian Assessment Report showed that my hormones are causing some issues. Specifically, my anti-mullerian hormone (AMH) is low. What this means is that what they use to judge my ovarian reserve is reduced. This indicates that my Egg Retrieval Score is reduced and that compared to other women 31-35 years old I am below average. UGH! definitely not what I wanted to hear. The good news is that my actual age (32) is a BIG bonus. Because of my actual age my chance of good egg quality is... Good. My feelings specifically about this... crummy. Please pray that my outlook and my guilt surrounding something that I can not change or affect in any way diminishes with reflection and prayer.
During our follow-up appointment Dr. Khan advised us that my hormones indicate that the outer shell of my eggs may be hard which could be preventing pregnancy. Due to these results Eric and I have chosen to have the doctors perform intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI, (pronounced ick-see)).
To help you understand this procedure I got the following information off of about.com :
In normal IVF, many sperm are placed together with an egg, in hopes that one of the sperm will enter and fertilize the egg. With ICSI, once the eggs are retrieved, an embryologist will place the eggs in a special culture, and using a microscope and tiny needle, a single sperm will be injected into an egg. This will be done for each egg retrieved. If fertilization takes place, and the embryos are healthy, an embryo or two will be transferred to your uterus, via a catheter placed through the cervix, two to five days after the retrieval.
This procedure makes it more expensive for us to have our IVF done. Praise to our Great Provider in Heaven! Our insurance covers most of this cost! Eric and I are paying out of pocket about 20% of the total cost! There is a financial strain, but we felt like the Lord was leading us to save money aside for about 2 months. Because of these savings we are able to pay these added expenses without concern!
Some dear friends and family that have gone through IVF gave me some wonderful advice. They told me to take this step by step and not focus on what was next. Their advice has been remarkably helpful. So, I am focusing on the current step. Payment and Medications. I should here from the pharmacy today about the cost and delivery of upcoming medications. Eric and I have also sorted out payment of IVF as discussed above.
A momentous occasion also happened at the appointment on April 15th; I got my IVF Calendar! This is the calendar of events that helps us follow what we will be doing. Here is an outline of dates:
April 11-April 26th: Birth Control
April 27th: Pre-IVF Evaluation Appointment 8:00AM EST (bloodwork, and ultrasound. will get results in the afternoon of the same day)
April 28th: Injection Class- 10:00 AM EST (eek! They are going to teach my how to inject myself without fainting.)
April 30- May 2nd: First doses of the medication
May 3rd: Follow-up Appointment and monitoring of fertility medication results 8:00AM EST (they will review medications and the results. At this appointment they will determine whether or not the drugs need to be reduced, lowered or are working as intended).
I will have more appointments in the next e-mail and as things progress. These are the dates and appointments that I am focusing on at this time. Please pray that my nerves are steady through the first injections and that the anticipation of these appointments does not make me an unbearable person to be around. :D
Thank you all for your prayers and support!
Eric and Nikki
Monday, April 11, 2011
A triumphant and exhausting week...
This week has been particularly trying for me. On Monday night I got rushed to the hospital by Eric. As it turns out I had a kidney stone. All of you that have had one are now sympathizing.. Ouch. Some say that it is the equivalent to giving birth. If that is the case, any foolish notions I had of giving birth naturally have now been thrown out the window. The pain was like being run over by a car on my hip and then upon standing up being punched in the gut by a professional boxer. Never, ever, do I wish that kind of pain on anyone, not even my enemies. While in the ER I fell in love with my husband all over again. He will make the best birthing coach ever. He was efficient with information for the hospital staff and patient with me as I hurled snappy remarks about not touching my stomach. On Tuesday afternoon I passed the kidney stone. What a relief! I had a burst of energy and went out to get ready for my birthday celebration (Yes, my birthday was on April 5th). Eric and I had a lovely evening at PassionFish in Reston. As a result of the stress of the kidney stone and my "yearly" exam my period came early this month. A whole six days early. Chris (the nurse coordinator) at Dr. Khan's office took pity on me and the rest of the week it detailed below.
Now for the IVF news, I am still healthy, all tests are done and as of tonight at 6pm I will be starting the first step in my official IVF Cycle, birth control. Sounds funny to be on birth control when you are trying to conceive but there is a reason. Not only will the doctors have more control over my cycle but it help to prevent hyper-stimulation of my ovary. This was a very serious concern for me as they still believe I only have one functioning ovary.
In other news my required women's yearly visit went very well. They had already received notification from Dr. Khan's office that I had moved over to his facility. My exam went smoothly and I am all set to see the OBGYN (Dr. Tudder) when I become pregnant. :D
As if this week hasn't been exciting enough we received a letter from the doctor's office indicating to us what our cost will be. It is right in line with what we were hoping for. God is so wonderful to us as it is the amount that we have left on our Flexible Spending Account Card! We feel so incredibly blessed and reassured that this is our Lord's timing. We are feeling an enormous amount of peace. Please keep prayers covering us during this highly emotional time.
Upcoming events: Eric has a manly appointment on Wednesday and then we have our follow-up with Dr. Khan as scheduled on Friday (April 15th- our 11 year anniversary). After this appointment we will have an actual schedule of events of which I will update you all on. For our anniversary Eric and I will be going to the Inn at Little Washington for a feasting experience like none other and then maybe catching a museum exhibit over the weekend.
Resting comfortably in HIS grip,
--
Nichole Nathan
Now for the IVF news, I am still healthy, all tests are done and as of tonight at 6pm I will be starting the first step in my official IVF Cycle, birth control. Sounds funny to be on birth control when you are trying to conceive but there is a reason. Not only will the doctors have more control over my cycle but it help to prevent hyper-stimulation of my ovary. This was a very serious concern for me as they still believe I only have one functioning ovary.
In other news my required women's yearly visit went very well. They had already received notification from Dr. Khan's office that I had moved over to his facility. My exam went smoothly and I am all set to see the OBGYN (Dr. Tudder) when I become pregnant. :D
As if this week hasn't been exciting enough we received a letter from the doctor's office indicating to us what our cost will be. It is right in line with what we were hoping for. God is so wonderful to us as it is the amount that we have left on our Flexible Spending Account Card! We feel so incredibly blessed and reassured that this is our Lord's timing. We are feeling an enormous amount of peace. Please keep prayers covering us during this highly emotional time.
Upcoming events: Eric has a manly appointment on Wednesday and then we have our follow-up with Dr. Khan as scheduled on Friday (April 15th- our 11 year anniversary). After this appointment we will have an actual schedule of events of which I will update you all on. For our anniversary Eric and I will be going to the Inn at Little Washington for a feasting experience like none other and then maybe catching a museum exhibit over the weekend.
Resting comfortably in HIS grip,
--
Nichole Nathan
Thursday, March 31, 2011
forward momentum
Hello Everyone,
Thank you for your continued support and for your prayers. As you know Eric and I are moving forward with IVF. Despite the probable merger between T-Mobile and AT&T we still believe that this is the right timing and we are trusting God to provide. Please continue to pray for discernment in this area.
Now for the EXCITING NEWS! All of our tests are nearly complete. I just went to see Dr Khan yesterday morning. We did a trial implantation run (known in the industry as a Mock Transfer) I will save you all from the details of the test and tell you the great news, that I am perfectly healthy. They predict no issues with implanting a baby (embryo). Although Dr. Khan had not been able to locate my left ovary (as predicted) he did state that he is not concerned about this. My right ovary had 9 healthy follicles ready to go this month. In addition Dr. Khan stated that often when they are unable to locate an ovary once they start the medication the ovary presents itself due to stimulation.
I am a little nervous about the whole process still and concerned about all the medications. Please pray that I will handle the hormone therapy gracefully. :D
Going forward there are some fun dates ahead of us. The next date: we will be going in for our follow-up appointment with Dr. Khan on April 15th. For those of you looking at your calendars right now.. yes, that is our 11th Wedding Anniversary.
I will keep you posted as we progress. Thank you all again for all of your support.
Thank you for your continued support and for your prayers. As you know Eric and I are moving forward with IVF. Despite the probable merger between T-Mobile and AT&T we still believe that this is the right timing and we are trusting God to provide. Please continue to pray for discernment in this area.
Now for the EXCITING NEWS! All of our tests are nearly complete. I just went to see Dr Khan yesterday morning. We did a trial implantation run (known in the industry as a Mock Transfer) I will save you all from the details of the test and tell you the great news, that I am perfectly healthy. They predict no issues with implanting a baby (embryo). Although Dr. Khan had not been able to locate my left ovary (as predicted) he did state that he is not concerned about this. My right ovary had 9 healthy follicles ready to go this month. In addition Dr. Khan stated that often when they are unable to locate an ovary once they start the medication the ovary presents itself due to stimulation.
I am a little nervous about the whole process still and concerned about all the medications. Please pray that I will handle the hormone therapy gracefully. :D
Going forward there are some fun dates ahead of us. The next date: we will be going in for our follow-up appointment with Dr. Khan on April 15th. For those of you looking at your calendars right now.. yes, that is our 11th Wedding Anniversary.
I will keep you posted as we progress. Thank you all again for all of your support.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
An Answer and A Solution...
The weather has turned cold here in Virginia, Mom (our last visitor of the year) has gone home and we are settling in to get things accomplished by the end of the year. We appreciate all your prayers over the last few months. We have had lots of progress in researching the difficulties in getting pregnant. So let me start where we left off.
In September, I was told that I needed to have a CT Scan. I went and had this done at the beginning of October. The CT scan went well ( I hate drinking the barium chalk, yuck!). After the CT Scan, we met with Dr. Cook again to discuss the results. During this meeting she advised us that most of what she initially saw looked as she expected. She stated that in order to get pregnant I would need surgery. They have confirmed that I have a Deremoid (a benign tumor) on one of my ovaries. It is currently the size of a penny (funny how such a small thing can cause so many problems). Dr. Cook is afraid that it may keep growing and as such does not feel comfortable doing IVF without it being removed. In addition to removing the Deremoid, they are going to evaluate my fallopian tubes. Apparently one is being blocked by something yet to be revealed in scans.
Today (October 16) we went and met with the surgeon (Dr. Paul MacKoul) Dr. MacKoul is a gynecological surgeon (http://www.womenssurgerycenter.com/about/our-team/). Upon review of my medical history, a discussion with Dr. Cook, and a little more information from us this morning Dr. MacKoul is ready to proceed with surgery. As a team we have decided that he will perform the removal of the Deremoid and evaluation of the fallopian tubes. The current goal is to save the ovary that the deremoid is attached to, clean the fallopian tube that is damaged (if possible) and to save as much of my reproductive system in the process. The surgery is an outpatient procedure with a 3-5 day recovery at home. There office will be calling me on Monday to schedule the surgery; as soon as I know the date I will let you know.
The hope after all of this is over is that Eric and I will be able to avoid IVF for the conception of our child. If this does not work we do feel that IVF is a solution and a possibility for conception that we will pursue. Eric and I have had great peace in the recent weeks and know that we are covered in prayer. Please continue to pray for us and the doctors.
***UPDATE: Surgery Date- October 29th at 2:00pm ***
In September, I was told that I needed to have a CT Scan. I went and had this done at the beginning of October. The CT scan went well ( I hate drinking the barium chalk, yuck!). After the CT Scan, we met with Dr. Cook again to discuss the results. During this meeting she advised us that most of what she initially saw looked as she expected. She stated that in order to get pregnant I would need surgery. They have confirmed that I have a Deremoid (a benign tumor) on one of my ovaries. It is currently the size of a penny (funny how such a small thing can cause so many problems). Dr. Cook is afraid that it may keep growing and as such does not feel comfortable doing IVF without it being removed. In addition to removing the Deremoid, they are going to evaluate my fallopian tubes. Apparently one is being blocked by something yet to be revealed in scans.
Today (October 16) we went and met with the surgeon (Dr. Paul MacKoul) Dr. MacKoul is a gynecological surgeon (http://www.womenssurgerycenter.com/about/our-team/). Upon review of my medical history, a discussion with Dr. Cook, and a little more information from us this morning Dr. MacKoul is ready to proceed with surgery. As a team we have decided that he will perform the removal of the Deremoid and evaluation of the fallopian tubes. The current goal is to save the ovary that the deremoid is attached to, clean the fallopian tube that is damaged (if possible) and to save as much of my reproductive system in the process. The surgery is an outpatient procedure with a 3-5 day recovery at home. There office will be calling me on Monday to schedule the surgery; as soon as I know the date I will let you know.
The hope after all of this is over is that Eric and I will be able to avoid IVF for the conception of our child. If this does not work we do feel that IVF is a solution and a possibility for conception that we will pursue. Eric and I have had great peace in the recent weeks and know that we are covered in prayer. Please continue to pray for us and the doctors.
***UPDATE: Surgery Date- October 29th at 2:00pm ***
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Updates...
Hello Dear Friends and Family,
ON Tuesday I went back to the Endocrinologist for blood work and ultrasounds to see if I am healthy enough to conceive a child. So far, so good. Dr. Cook was able to see my right ovary and found it to be very healthy. I had several eggs ready to get ripe and everything else looked good.
On Friday June 4th,at 10:30a.m. I have an appointment for an Hysterosalpingogram(HSG test). For those of you that are interested in the exact details of this test I have included a link that I use frequently to research different procedures I will be asked to do. Here it is: http://www.sharedjourney.com/define/hsg.html
In addition to finding out the results of my HSG test I will have another ultrasound completed on June 9th for additional details about my current cycle.
All of this is new territory and I would appreciate your prayers as we begin to discover why we have not been able to conceive. Through all of this investigation Eric and still strongly believe that this is the path God wants us to take for the moment. I don't know how far we will go but I know that God is with us while we proceed.
In His grip,
Nichole
ON Tuesday I went back to the Endocrinologist for blood work and ultrasounds to see if I am healthy enough to conceive a child. So far, so good. Dr. Cook was able to see my right ovary and found it to be very healthy. I had several eggs ready to get ripe and everything else looked good.
On Friday June 4th,at 10:30a.m. I have an appointment for an Hysterosalpingogram(HSG test). For those of you that are interested in the exact details of this test I have included a link that I use frequently to research different procedures I will be asked to do. Here it is: http://www.sharedjourney.com/define/hsg.html
In addition to finding out the results of my HSG test I will have another ultrasound completed on June 9th for additional details about my current cycle.
All of this is new territory and I would appreciate your prayers as we begin to discover why we have not been able to conceive. Through all of this investigation Eric and still strongly believe that this is the path God wants us to take for the moment. I don't know how far we will go but I know that God is with us while we proceed.
In His grip,
Nichole
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Encouragement
Greetings! Praise the Lord for how he is continually encouraging. Praise the Lord for the time I have to spend in his word!
I was recently doing a Bible study on encouragement and ran across a scripture that blessed me very much.
2 Thessalonians 2:16
16May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
It is a daily struggle to remember that God already knows my future and knows His timing for every gift under Heaven. If I keep praying for His will and my actions reflect this desire for my life then I will keep having peace that God has me right where he needs me.
I am called to be an encouragement for others. Often times I feel like I have nothing more to give. In times like this I must remember that it is God that fills me with what to give. I have nothing to give on my own. I am an empty vessel by God's design and if I remember this then I have everything to give to others, the love of Christ that is the perfect gift. It is God that fills me up with His word to share with all of you.
How do I encourage my sister that says "I am broken"?
I know I have said this a time or two. I always expressed it as if I couldn't give this one thing to my husband. When I told him this he was gracious enough to say to me: "You give me so much. I am blessed to have you in my life". (what a good man) Still I thought of myself as broken... and I prayed. I came to the following conclusion that I was broken in a different way than my worldly body. The world would like to put a label on me as broken because I have not conceived. I have come to embrace this wonderful label. I am broken in every way and in the hands of my creator. I cry out and he comforts me, he bears my struggle with me and this comforts me, I praise Him and he hears me. He is the only one who knows how to put me back together again. He will do His will. Amen.
To God be the Glory for my life, the life of my husband, for all of you and for the future he has planned out perfectly for all of us.
Go forth with peace, joy, and strength in the encouragement from the God of eternal encouragement. Be blessed.
I was recently doing a Bible study on encouragement and ran across a scripture that blessed me very much.
2 Thessalonians 2:16
16May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
It is a daily struggle to remember that God already knows my future and knows His timing for every gift under Heaven. If I keep praying for His will and my actions reflect this desire for my life then I will keep having peace that God has me right where he needs me.
I am called to be an encouragement for others. Often times I feel like I have nothing more to give. In times like this I must remember that it is God that fills me with what to give. I have nothing to give on my own. I am an empty vessel by God's design and if I remember this then I have everything to give to others, the love of Christ that is the perfect gift. It is God that fills me up with His word to share with all of you.
How do I encourage my sister that says "I am broken"?
I know I have said this a time or two. I always expressed it as if I couldn't give this one thing to my husband. When I told him this he was gracious enough to say to me: "You give me so much. I am blessed to have you in my life". (what a good man) Still I thought of myself as broken... and I prayed. I came to the following conclusion that I was broken in a different way than my worldly body. The world would like to put a label on me as broken because I have not conceived. I have come to embrace this wonderful label. I am broken in every way and in the hands of my creator. I cry out and he comforts me, he bears my struggle with me and this comforts me, I praise Him and he hears me. He is the only one who knows how to put me back together again. He will do His will. Amen.
To God be the Glory for my life, the life of my husband, for all of you and for the future he has planned out perfectly for all of us.
Go forth with peace, joy, and strength in the encouragement from the God of eternal encouragement. Be blessed.
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